As many of you know. I am a stay at home mom to five...so here is part one of, Ten signs you may be a mom.
10. You have NO shame. Not much phases you anymore, & you consider a good time, going to bed at 9:30.
-You thrill seeker you.
9. When you put on your makeup, someone asks "Where are you going?!" or "Is someone coming over?!"
- You apparently no longer look decent, unless there is a reason...nice.
8. You wear yoga pants at all times, except for when showering...and if you could wear them while showering...you would.
- You wear yoga pants, morning, noon, night, and for slumber...you even wear them for nicer occasions, you just dress them up with a cute top. You make your argument by saying it is not laziness...it's versatility.
7. It's noon and you have food on your shirt and pants, and you haven't eaten yet today.
- See...yoga pants...fully functional can even be used as a napkin.
6. You get excited for a night out, but then when it comes time to leave, you complain that you are to exhausted to go anywhere.
-See next sign.
5. On your night out, that you just slammed a redbull, or drank a massive cup of coffee to be able to stay awake for...all you can talk about is your kids...and how ridiculously tired you still are after slamming such an unreasonable amount of caffeine.
- It hasn't been decided yet, if the reason you only talk about your kids, is because that is all you know, if it is because they really are that interesting, or if it's because it is a super easy topic, when all you can do is think about your pillow...mmmm...sleep.
4. Your brain no longer functions, and often feels like it has gone through a hot paper shredder.
- It all starts with pregnancy brain, and then morphs into mommy brain. The fact of the matter is, once you have children, your brain will never fully function again. My theory on this is, your brain gets so used to constant interruptions, that it "thinks" it is no longer allowed to complete anything it starts...such as thoughts and sentences. When it DOES have the opportunity to do so, it gets overwhelmed, and resets. For example...I could solve all of the greatest mysteries in life while I am in the shower, and my brain realizes its potential...but then by the time I have shut off the water, I have already forgotten my middle name. IF THINGS AREN'T WRITTEN DOWN, THEY DIDN'T HAPPEN!
3. Your friends who don't have kids, don't understand why you don't call them.
- Explain to your friends that, you don't call them out of respect. Not only can you no longer form complete sentences, but that you don't think they will appreciate listening to a loud reenactment of an MMA match while they are trying to tell you about their rough day. They need to understand that you don't call them, because you DO love them.
2. You often look high.
- Are you high? No, it's exhaustion...completely different.
1. Your stomach and hips look like you went on a safari, and got attacked by a tiger while you were there.
- No, this isn't just you...it's the majority of moms...and if this sign doesn't apply to you and you're a mom...the rest of us really don't want to talk to you...like...ever.
